Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A sensation that rips apart from the insides is what I feel now.May be it will remain till that day which I hope will come.I am not lost.I know what I feel, what I want...yes an honest confession.I know it this time around.I have just become a bit mechanical.That is a botheration.Will things never go smoothly? every aspect of my life? Why do I have to go through the pain...all over again? Why? I am thinking too much, maybe just too much.Yes there have been things which I had desired I got, but they have been way too materialistic.But every time my desires have been humane I have ended up empty handed...is it where I am heading again...an emptiness....the void....the ripping apart sensation has not been erased completely ...may be it never will go....at least I know not until that day...I can only ignore it...try and suppress it somehow...that is the best way...yes I am hoping...hoping against all hopes...that things will freshen up and finally be normally smooth...I miss January and February sometimes...everything was cool like the weather....I finally am going on a trip...my nerves should calm down...and I should have a clear vision...when I come back...my head is just too heavy...with hope...with fear...with so many things unwanted.................hoping against hope...that is all I can do....that is all that's left to do....no other way....

No comments:

Post a Comment