Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Its Time

You give me a smile
Put on the veil
A speck of sunshine
Clouds back again
A morsel of laughter
Drowned in an ocean of tears
Days of joy with nights of fear
Languishing with pain
Yet calm and restrained
Hoping for a better tomorrow...

When you will shed that black veil
Look into my eyes and smile again
End of a long, long wait
When the fields will be green again
The calm after another storm
When you will break the chains
Start believing..

When the sun shall rise with its morning hope
When the sky shall be a spotless blue
When the sun will set with its evening hues
I shall be holding you in my arms again

Hope is never a bad thing
Give wings to your thoughts
And let yourself fly..
But everyone becomes tired after sometime
The bird must find her nest
Look around I shall be some where near thee
Waiting to light the fire once again

Shed your veil, welcome life..
Break the wall,ignite
Its time, its time.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Its all blank
Not a drop of colour
Emptiness grappling
Pushing me down
Sunshine through the window curtains
Floating paralyzed
Its still cold
The winter is only beginning....


Whispers I hear of the times when we were bathing in joy
The times when we were close
When the clock did not matter
When there was no space
A fleeting thought of the times when we were just ours
A thought to feed on
Till this impasse subsides...

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Flu

Down with influenza. :( I have seen that whenever I am down with bouts of flu I tend to develop all negative thoughts.Weird of me.Its not like I don't think negatively during normal circumstances but influenza tends to magnify this pessimistic intensity.Anyway examinations almost done. Just one more pass paper to go then I am off to Delhi. Can't believe that I will be going outside West Bengal twice this year. Never happened before.My last trip during the summer months was very nice.It was really good.That was the first time I ever boarded the plane.Now that I know whats the experience like when one is flying at an altitude of 38,000ft from the ground, the alluring factor has lost a bit of charm.But it is still quite exciting.I am looking forward to Delhi.I have always been attracted by the name.Being a political science student has loaded more significance to name of the capital of India, my country.I am excited to see the Taj Mahal and also staying over at my cousin's place in Gurgaon.

I will be getting a brand new camera today! :D mother is going to buy me one. I am so happy and excited!! :D :D :D I will be able to click loads of pictures once again!! :D

P.S. I am amazed how people jump from one relationship to another. Bye for now.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Invisible Umbilical Line

Furiously high
The two minds , the two bodies
Silence interrupted by deep breathing
He touches her skin
The prickling sensation causing ripples
Amidst the deep of darkness
The intensity breaks as they come close
So close that their salty sweat mixes with each other
As it trails down their skin
Gasp of unison
Trembling hands trembling feet
Whispering just whispering each others name
The pain and pleasure
The smile and tears
Of all these years unite...
Beating as one
The unbreakable bond
The mixing of blood
The same disease
They are theirs
Nothing can ever sever the invisible umbilical line
The first rays of the sun shine...

Shallow

The shallow tune of that song
Screeches as we make love
Reminding us the consequences of our deed....
Stigmatised will be our love story...
For breaking the sanctity of our society...
As we crash down together
To the floor
As our naked bodies touch
The most unholy dome
Falling periliously below in their eyes...
We realise we have to fight in order to survive.......
A sense of calm before the storm.....
A sense - we won't bid goodbye.
I have got my sociology pass papers on saturday. haven't studied one bit.but somehow i am quiet calm. not paranoid. maybe because its just a pass papers.anyway my mind has all of a sudden become clouded with thoughts.thoughts that don't really put on a smile. what does one do when he knows he has failed? does he call it quits. hangs his head low and walks away? or does he stand his ground keeps at it knowing that he might be the actual winner in the end.a certain acquaintance would tell me "aren't u a united supporter? why don't u draw inspiration from them?" but there are times when inspiration doesn't even help.Life is strange, a hurricane lurking at every corner, waiting to squash u like a bug.Some how just for now I want to go back to my school friends.I have never felt like this ever before.Chat with them about how life has changed- for the better or for worse.Have a heart to heart conversation with my best bud.Yes I will have to meet him soon.He will understand.Someday everything will make sense and all the doubts about myself will be straightened out.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Change is the only constant.Life is tough for the most part of it.When u want something to happen badly.It doesn't. Some facts to remain smooth. It gets distorted. Some moments to freeze but they end up going away into the past.Half of college life is over.That makes me happy in a way and sad for some other reasons.Lately I have been obsessed with death. Some how I get these weird feeling...when I actually die... is there any one who would really miss me? At some times I feel. Yes. At other times I feel. No. May be I am not really important to a lot of people I think I am. I think in a negative way most of the time.But for me things have gone wrong whenever I was being positive about something.May be death is not that difficult..as in it is not so fearsome as it sounds like.

Friday, September 24, 2010

See You Tomorrow

Maybe your facebook status won't ever read "I love you" .... "I miss you"...."Your my world"...and such updates dedicated to me....maybe my facebook wall won't show any post from you that is corny and mushy to say the least....yes may be you will never express your feelings for me through worldly materials such as an archies card...or a monthly gift...as we grow older together by another month...may be you will always be saying..."I don't feel much you know, its just blank most of the time"..."When I do feel , I feel it very strongly and I know I am right" , "I am more confident now...sure" and I might be asking you the same stupid, blande questions and pop the idea of ending our not so conventional relationship from time to time....because there is nothing absolutely nothing that would let the "the others" be in peace and put an end to propositions like "how can it be love..when there is no dependance"..."it is not love but hightened liking towards each other..which would wear off soon" (but I think we have crossed many a "soon" crossroads) .... our relationship doesn't have a label...doesn't have a status to display on the social networking sites...our relationship doesn't have facebook notes revealing how wonderful...how heavenly everday has been....it doesn't show how completely the worlds have changed for us....it doesn't say "your the one for me in this life and everafter"......what it does have is...a few status updates that reveal how uncomfortable...suffocating...a week had been...how much pressure...it had created...loads of ugly fights...breaks...break up....the best possible inference there is no understanding...how our bond has messed all the clear lines in our lives.....



But this relationship also has...many sweet moments...moments that have carved a place for themselves...moments that can never be erased....be it the 4th or the 17th november or the 24thDecemeber 2009....and many such days...it has some heartwarming conversations...some silences...loads of fun....centred around our very own Rolls Royce....when I look back at those days...I see we have been different from what I see around myself....in this very short time...I can say we have grown a little bit ....clashed a lot...understood each other very little...it amazes me .. that even after all those turbulences how the hell we are still together.....I mean really we could have broken up a 100times and over again...we could have stayed single...maybe dated some one else....but strangely nothing of that sort happened...these 11months have been full of topsy turvy...ups and downs... if she sits down to plot a line graph I can imagine how uneven the line plotting our relationship would look like...!

I have been mushy , corny, extremely emotional, a kid...haven't understood you made efforts failed to understand...cried like hell on some gloomy days...smiled brighter than the sun on some occassions... pulled your cheek, punched , rotated that nose of yours...have been the most likely one to embarrass you in public...shared very weird, grotesque imaginations...scenarios...which would make any girl ditch her boyfriend....been perverted almost about everything...cracked stupid silly sad jokes to which only u have laughed...till date...On the other hand you have been quiet , sometimes cold yes very cold , hard on me...I have felt that I have been wronged at many places...felt like Why ME? Why do u have to be so cruel?Why just on me??

I am not going to lie...I have had been in love before...but everytime I returned home with a tear in the corner of my eyes...strangely we happened...out of the blue....its been weird since then...I know I am not the boyfriend material...with all the shit that you have taken in this short period I dont think any one else would have bothered taking so much pain...we have been different in expressing our love for each other...very different...but everytime I read the yellow card,the shells, the birthday card u gave me and mr.Froggy....I realise that no matter how much I try I will never be able to stop what we started...no matter how many miles your apart from me...even if I don't see u everyday...I want you to know... that I am there as a friend.as a boyfriend. and as the One.I guess you know all of this...and much more.I have never questioned your feelings for me.Never will.I know whatever you feel thats at a very deep level.may be not very palpable....but...I am sure... and thus there's no reason for you to have weird thoughts. And even if with all our efforts we loose each other physically someday ( hope that never happens)....I am sure that we will still be there very much...I know you wont forget..neither shall I...

You must be tired now after all this intense stuff!But I wanted to write whatever is going through my mind.I won't torture you further with this.You can go back to doing whatever you were...I presume - eating/reading/sleeping.Bye..See you tomorrow. }:-)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Its been ages since I have published anything on this space, as a matter of fact its been ages since I have written something due to the pressure of my creative juices!Well at present my life is going fine, may be not very smoothly always but overall it is going fine.Except college has become very hectic..the classes are rammed against one another.Not a moment of BREATHER.Its weird when exams are around the corner one tends to do all the things that are not even closely related to studying the prescribed syllabus!Anyway...I have wasted too much time already...need to go Bye.Will be posting regularly soon!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Lost At The Dead End

Every silver lining probably also has a dark cloud hovering along that very path....at least for me it has been so...it was so...and all thanx to my stupidity...actions..words..once gone out of hand doesn't return back...there are things...which only happen...with time...there's a perfect time for everything...one cannot bring it closer by just pressing some virtual "fast forward button"...what happens if one presses that virtual button...is that...the sweet melodic music that had been playing so far...gives way to a screechy noise...which doesn't have any melody....it doesn't have any thing...it leaves ur ear feeling sore...and the good music...that comes back once again...takes time to soothe the nerves...driving...through a maze...is another tricky job...one doesn't know when he or she is gonna hit the dead end....yes once u hit it...ur injured...therez no turning back for certain...u have to face the consequences...the injury...the bruises...the phase...in which u hate urself for being stupid...the phase...in which u just want to cry...just so...it relieves the tension...the pain.. a bit...so that u regain ur serenity once again...at least hope to....


Was speeding up the broad way...
Didn't know it was a maze
Hit the gray walls
Hit the dead end with no force
But a good deal of pain...
Stupidity and poor vision..
I just want to hold you close...
That is the only way I will heal...
The only way to vent my tears...
Please give me ur lap....I want some peace..
I am pathetically weak....
Please don't leave me...have faith...
I shall drive more carefully
Please don't leave me...please...
I don't want this journey to ever end...
Please don't leave me please.....

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Some times I get these weird thoughts...really weird .... I get confounded myself...amazed how my brain can think so unnaturally...so negatively...it is almost abysmal...someday I will turn mad...insane...go crazy...then...probably...wither away...! x-(

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Holding your hand
Relaxing my mind
Touch so warm
Vision so blind
Disillusioned devoid of focus
Patience isn't a steady rhyme
Time will tell where we stand
Or we loose ourselves
In the sands of time
Bleeding fingers
Hurtful eyes
Warmth of tears
But some warm smile
Disillusioned devoid of focus
Patience isn't a steady rhyme
Strange pain
Even stranger bliss
Letting go...holding on...
Middle of a strange conflict
Walking steady with my wobbly feet
Feeling the cold breeze
High on pain
Still he sings again
The same old song...the same old rhyme
Disillusioned devoid of focus
Patience isn't a steady rhyme

Friday, May 28, 2010

Vacation

My exams ended on the 19thMay and the next day I was off to Bangalore.I finally went for a trip after a really long time.I visited Bangalore , Mysore and Ooty - a short trip of 1 week.I was very excited because I was going on a trip after a really long time and more so because it was going to be my first flight.20thMay arrived and I was jumping like a little frog according to a friend of mine. :P Flying was good.Indigo planes are very punctual, and the aircrafts are designed in a very sexy manner. The maiden flight of mine was a thrilling experience, flew through storm, saw rain on the windows and lightning too.Touched down Bangalore.The airport is huge,the airport in Kolkata seems so tiny if one compares it with the Bangalore one.The cabs are cool over there, the one thing that struck me was that almost everyone could speak and understand English in order to carry on their business so unlike Kolkata.The roads over there are really well maintained and the metaled roads also sport shades of green on their borders.Th roads leading up to the airport are quite sexy.We halted in bangalore for one day and ventured around the city the best part about the sight seeing was the trip to Banerghata National Park. the safari was awesome.Experiencing the national geographic stuff live felt really amazing. From there we went to lunch at MTR but our cruel luck denied access to the restaurant.We went to Kamath which thankfully was open and lunched there.The lunch was not out of the world , but a different cuisine felt delightful to devour.

After filling our hungry guts we went to see Lalbagh Botanical Garden.I didn't see much of the place because I met my first best friend there- Ashesh.It was really awesome to meet him after 7long years.The world is not a huge place.The rendezvous brought back some really sweet innocent memories of childhood.It was nice to see that he had not changed.Mom clicked pictures of the place in my absence as the official photographer of the trip.After Lalbagh we went to Tipu Sultan's Summer Palace, there is a thing about their architecture , a typicality which I don't find anywhere else.

The next day we started off early for Mysore, on the way we stopped and saw Seringapatna Tipuz capital and the place where Tipu Sultan died.The temple of Vishnu over there was really nice.Again the South Indian architecture drew my attention the most.The carvings on the walls on the temple were really fascinating.From there we went to Ranganthittu a bird sanctuary.Another national geographic experience.The boating was really nice.

Mysore our next stop was ok.Nothing great except for the Mysore Palace.The palace exuded grandeur of a different level.I had come across nothing of that sort till then.After seeing the palace and getting drenched in the Mysore rain we went back to our hotel.The rain kind of spoiled our mood and we didn't risk driving to Chamundeshori hills.Shopping time was secluded only for the evening during which I got pathetically bored.The dinner at RRR an Andhra style restaurant was a horror.The chicken biriyani tasted deliciously insipid!After a sour dinner with hunger still ringing its knell, we had to satisfy ourselves with Cafe Coffee Day delicacies.

After Mysore we started off for Ooty.The drive to Ooty was amazing, especially the drive through the Bandipur forest.On the way to Ooty we saw some deer and on our way back we saw elephants.The peacefulness , the deathly silence of the forest except for the sound of the engine was really seductive in a very non amorous way.After a while of silent drive I noticed the gradual elevating gradation of the place , the gentleness of the region was gradually giving way to a different color to the place - it was becoming steep.The mounting of the hill in first gear and second gear is a very fascinating and exciting experience.After sometime I spotted a sign board giving directions to the "Queen Of The Hills - Ooty".Ooty was the place I had been really looking forward to.I love mountains, loved my once a upon a time trip to Darjeeling and Sikkim ...loved the Himalayas, so I was really looking for ward to experience the grandeur and the magnanimity of the Nilgiris.The hills of South India did not disappoint me.We had booked a cottage and the place was lovely.It was breathtaking beauty.The cottage the numerous hills , the wispy clouds and the several houses that dotted the skin of the hills and the never ending green.

We stayed in Ooty for a couple of days.The place is really nice.Cool will be the exact word to describe.We went to Coonoor the day after we arrived at Sinclairs , that is the hotel where we stayed in Ooty.The drive to Conoor was amazing.We drove through forest , with tea gardens on our sides , with clouds descending as we moved upwards.Got ourselves clicked by a photographer at Dolphin Nose a view point in Coonoor.The hills are very photogenic, as a matter of fact nature in totality is photogenic, be it plains, mountains, rivers , seas , the deserts or the forests.

Through out the trip I hogged like anything.Even though the food disappointed me at places hogging was fun and was the order of the day as it is in Kolkata.Clicked loads of pictures which I will be uploading after a few days, this delay caused due to a glitch in my computer.The trip was excellent , it calmed my nerves, I have got back my focus.I realized a lot of things while on the trip.The much needed break seems to have rejuvenated me once again.All in all I loved the trip ...I really enjoyed my short vacation.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A sensation that rips apart from the insides is what I feel now.May be it will remain till that day which I hope will come.I am not lost.I know what I feel, what I want...yes an honest confession.I know it this time around.I have just become a bit mechanical.That is a botheration.Will things never go smoothly? every aspect of my life? Why do I have to go through the pain...all over again? Why? I am thinking too much, maybe just too much.Yes there have been things which I had desired I got, but they have been way too materialistic.But every time my desires have been humane I have ended up empty handed...is it where I am heading again...an emptiness....the void....the ripping apart sensation has not been erased completely ...may be it never will go....at least I know not until that day...I can only ignore it...try and suppress it somehow...that is the best way...yes I am hoping...hoping against all hopes...that things will freshen up and finally be normally smooth...I miss January and February sometimes...everything was cool like the weather....I finally am going on a trip...my nerves should calm down...and I should have a clear vision...when I come back...my head is just too heavy...with hope...with fear...with so many things unwanted.................hoping against hope...that is all I can do....that is all that's left to do....no other way....

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Invisible Umbilical Line

Furiously high
The two minds , the two bodies
Silence interrupted by deep breathing
He touches her skin
The prickling sensation causing ripples
Amidst the deep of darkness
The intensity breaks as they come close
So close that their salty sweat mixes with each other
As it trails down their skin
Gasp of unison
Trembling hands trembling feet
Whispering just whispering each others name
The pain and pleasure
The smile and tears
Of all these years unite...
Beating as one
The unbreakable bond
The mixing of blood
The same disease
They are theirs
Nothing can ever sever the invisible umbilical line
The first rays of the sun shine...


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Trip trip trip..

Finally there will be a change of setting...yes I am leaving this place for a week or so...after a really long time I will hit the road in search of something new...I am really excited about my forthcoming trip.It has been really a while now that I have not gone outside WestBengal. The trip is a welcome break from this frustrating humid heat over here in Kolkata.I am also excited because of my first flight, yeah I will be on the plane for the first time..I am just too excited about :D ... I haven't been able to concentrate on my exams cause of that..lol :P...The cool Ooty will definitely help me calm my nerves and get myself rejuvenated.

Life is errmmm looks fine at the moment but who knows when things will go wrong once again...but yeah a maturity has developed within me...and I know that every problem will have a solution .. things won't have to end..in the past I had been really stupid enough to let things end when things wouldn't have ended had I been a bit more mature ...well I realize that now..ummm a bit too late...but luckily I realized that in just the nick of time this time around...its hard...difficult really .... but the pain will be worth it....won't lose the treasure this time around ....

Broken Glass

I am walking on broken glass
The only way left to reach out to you
Blood and pain part of the game
Conspiring against my own sinews
Heart beats at a steady slow pace
Tasting my own blood, my own pain
Scarred everywhere
From my heart to my toes
Knees become weak
But I must carry on
The search must never end
Shivering through the cold of night
Perspiring in the deathly heat
I walk on broken glass
Hoping my blood will mend everything..

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

1st Year @ Xaviers


1st July 2009 was the day I officially became a part of St.Xavier's College Kolkata.I had badly wanted to get into the institution since a long time.It was a wish that got fulfilled.From the outside Xaviers seemed to be a very attractive prospect, it had an appeal that no other college in the city had.But post the inauguration day, the college has slowly slowly showed its true colors.The strict rules of the college is the only de-inspiring factor about the place.But it is fun.One can easily discover loopholes in the system if one pays a bit of attention.I consider myself to be one of the few lucky people who have been given the chance to be a part of the college.Even with the strict rules and regulations, there is a certain homely feeling about the place, the yellow walls, the canteen, the green benches and the class rooms has this very friendly and homely feeling about them.The 1st year of college has been an interesting one.It has been very eventful and I shall remember it forever.When I entered college, personally I was going through a pretty rough phase.But college gave me a new opening.A new social platform.I have made many new friends.People here are very friendly.But I am very thankful to college for giving me, the most important treasure in my life.I will always be grateful to college for this.College would have been empty without my treasure.Yes the days I have gone to college just to end up finding that my treasure was absent had been the most terrible days in the 1st year.Political Science has been a good choice.So far the experience of the course has been pretty decent.I didn't feel really bad when school got over as a matter of fact I didn't miss school during those initial days.But I am quite sure that I will miss college when it gets over.Yes the 1st year of college has given me a lot more than I had expected.The finishing line doesn't seem very far away.But I am sure I am going to enjoy college to the fullest for the next couple of years.Ohhh...and the other negative bit about 1st year was that Xavotsav - the college fest was good but not as exciting as I had thought it would be.Hoping for a much better show next time around.On a study leave now..sem-2 will be starting in a weeks time.Not prepared like always :( .Praying that I don't get badly screwed....bbbyeeee.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Little World To Hide In...

Intense build up
Silence
No space to breathe
Warm breath on shoulders
Palpitating heart
Dreamy touch of conviction
Beautiful
Strange music to the ears
The soft touch
Goosebumps
The warmth
The little world to hide in...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

" When our yesterday's are gone....And Today's almost Over"

"When our yesterday's are gone....and Today's almost over" .....this line has caught my imagination like anything.The line belongs to the song Chasing The Sun by Motherjane. Yes when a day begins , it has to end,when something starts it has to attain culmination.When the plane takes off , it has to land. Everything that has life...dies.It is just a matter of time.How long? How long?All good phases pave the way for bad times and the bad times for good.We forget to prepare or sheath ourselves for the bad times, we are too caught up celebrating.But when the bad times come we become broken.We feel the world has crashed upon us from nowhere, out of the blue.Life is strange.Its enigmatic, a mystery.Its what you to choose to do.Everything is in our hands.We can control our lives, not let it go by.But in this journey, u cannot be the lone traveler.Yes people do come and go away while this journey is in progress, but there are people who stick around till the chequered flag, till the finish line.At this point we realize who were the real friends and who were just beating the friendship drum.One cannot live life , go through its obstacles all by himself/herself, if that was the case then there wouldn't have been any competition either.People are important.Our yesterdays bring us a smile or a tear on our faces because of the people we had around us.Our today's are tolerable again because of people surrounding you and the tomorrow seems hopeful because at the end of all the harshness you believe you will be not alone but surrounded by people, those special few.We might call ourselves antisocial at times, drive away friends, enemies too. But these are all phases.One needs to strike balance between independence and the other aspects of life. Cause you do need a shoulder to cry on, you do need a heart to share love with, you do need another person to crack a joke with, you do need that hug to make you feel wanted, make you feel at home, safe and sound, loved, protected.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Letterbox

The dusty heat
Cars honking away to glory
The letterbox and the tree
The slimmest of privacy
The reassuring touch
The not anticipated tears
Making me believe
Rekindling my hope
The unsteady heartbeat
There is still hope...
Its not the last last...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Take Away My Pain

I was sitting on the edge of his bed
Staring at the headlines on the paper
He said, 'Look at poor Gene Kelly
I guess he won't be singing in the rain.'
You can take away my heroes
Can you take away my pain

Take away my pain
Leave the cold outside
Please don't let it rain
Don't stumble on my pride
Take away my pain
I'm not frightened anymore
Just stay with me tonight
I'm tired of this fight
Soon I'll be knocking at your door

She was standing by the edge of his bed
Staring at the message on their faces
He said, 'What else can you do, babe?
I guess I won't be coming home again.'
They just took away all my promises
Make them take away my pain

Take away my pain
Leave the cold outside
Please don't let it rain
Don't stumble on my pride
Take away my pain
I'm not frightened anymore
Just stay with me tonight
I'm tired of this fight
Soon I'll be knocking at your door

His final scene
The actor bows
And all those years
Are gone somehow
The crowd applauds
The curtain falls

I was standing by the edge of the water
I noticed my reflection in the waves
Then I saw you looking back at me
And I knew that for a moment
You were calling out my name
You took away my hero
Will you take away my pain

Take away my pain
Let the cold inside
It's time to let it rain
There's nothing left to hide
Take away my pain
I'm not frightened anymore
I'm learning to survive
Without you in my life
Till you come knocking at my door...

Here's the song :-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE0Tqd8NlmU

Strange

I messed everything up big time.Can't believe already 24hrs have passed.Time really moves fast.The most strange day in college I had, maybe I should get used to it from now on.World moves on.Every one seemed to be happy, satisfied in their own world, enjoying their time in the heat.Weird all of a sudden all the simple equations have got distorted, the big picture has been smudged by this new ink.May be time will dry up the page, may be time will erase this sudden blot, may be not.Its too difficult to predict what will happen the next moment? No one knows.Every one can only speculate.Its strange all of a sudden college doesn't seem a great proposition, I don't like college, nothing about it, the ledge, the canteen, the green benches, the roads leading up to the place,Park Street has changed if not forever at least for a while.Damn weird.Day 1 over.I shall stop counting after sometime.Its all too well known for me. I have done it before, only ended up empty handed the last time around and just that nothing had changed back then, no object acquired a new meaning. A few days ago I was like " 1st year over :( only 2 years left" .... but now at 12:27a.m. these coming 2years seem a long a really long journey....................................who knows what lies ahead??

Thursday, April 15, 2010

May Be Tomorrow..

Time flew by
The bulbs started dimming
I was just not seeing
May be Tomorrow..
Everything will be fine
Everything will be straightened out
For that final time
When everything will make sense
May be Tomorrow..
Will never come
It just will end like this
In this apparent meaningless fashion
May be Tomorrow..
Will make a new start
From the scratch
May be Tomorrow..
I will know it was all part of the plan
May be Tomorrow..
May be Tomorrow..

Staring At The Sun

I have been hooked on to this song for quite some time now.Its Staring At The Sun by U2.The song is pretty simple but has a catchy tone.The acoustic version is better than electric one I feel. Here goes the lyrics....


Summer stretching on the grass... summer dresses pass

In the shade of a willow tree creeps a crawling over me
Over me and over you stuck together with God's glue
It's going to get stickier too...
It's been a long hot summer
let's go undercover
Don't try too hard to think... don't think at all

I'm not the only one starin' at the sun
Afraid of what you'd find if you took a look inside
Not just deaf and dumb i'm staring at the sun
Not the only one who's happy to go blind

There's an insect in your ear if you scratch it won't disappear
It's gonna itch and burn and sting
Do you want to see what the scratching brings
Waves that leave me out of reach
Breaking on your back like a beach...
Will we ever live in peace?
Cause those that can't do often have to
Those that can't do often have to... preach

To the ones staring at the sun...
Afraid of what you'll find if you took a look inside
Not just deaf and dumb... staring at the sun
I'm not the only one who'd rather go blind

Intransigence is all around... military is still in town
Armour plated suits and ties... daddy just won't say goodbye
Referee won't blow the whistle God is good but will HE listen
I'm nearly great
But there's something I'm missing I left in the duty free
Though you never really belonged to me

You're not the only one staring at the sun
Afraid of what you'd find if you stepped back inside
I'm not sucking my thumb I'm staring at the sun
Not the only one who's happy to go blind

Here's the song :-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mo9xg-_sSw

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

GreenZone

Finally went to a movie after what seems ages.The last movie I went to was MNIK with my mother. But this time around I went all alone, after how long I don't know.I like watching movies alone with just the popcorn and the soft drink to accompany me.When I was in 11th and 12th , I used to go to the movies alone most of the time and I was very regular at the theater. GreenZone was a good movie, Matt Damon as good as always.The movie is about the US-Iraq war. It basically shows the war time turmoil after Saddam Hussein's death and the establishment of democracy by the USA. The action scenes were terrific. The movie was nothing over the top but it was a good movie.With my second semester examinations almost knocking on the door , yesterday was probably one of my last outings for sometime.I was dying to watch a movie and hence went for it. I can't believe how coolly mom gave me permission which doesn't happen to often.It was a welcome breather.I think too much just way too much....I will go mad I guess soon.I am going to hit the pillows now. Goodnight.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Pearl from the angel's necklace
Rising like the bright moon
Engulfing all the pain and sorrow

Emanating the positive vibe

Takes away the tears and the pain
In her bosom into the night...



Hyphen

The meeting - a mere chance
The events - meant to be
The spark - fiery
The unsaid conversations - intensity

Hope - the way to live
Pain - the strength to imbibe
Love - more than just a feeling
Relationship - Never say Goodbye

Touch - the medicine to cure
Smell - Fruity enough to bring a smile
Tears - the ripping apart sensation beneath the skin
Smile- makes any day bright

Fights - makes the bond strong
Time - makes the friendship grow
Bad phases - suffer suffer suffer
Hugs - we will live forever to show.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Picturez-2






A few pictures I took through which I wanted to freeze time and relive those days.

Thinking Aloud

There's clouds in the sky, the atmosphere humid,sweat, the stink all mixed in the air around me makes the feeling more sensational.Its all dark up in the heavens , seems it is going to rain soon, even I am waiting for the showers.Things are really hot , rains should calm the heat. The fire should be purified once again.It hasn't been smooth...my story rather our story, but still it has been fun.Looking around what I see is very different from what I experience, maybe their lives are not so convoluted like mine...like ours.Then again every story is unique.Ours being a bit more special than the rest.Its been different very different from what I had expected it to be.Smooth, easy-going,chilled out culminating in a "they lived happily ever after", that has not been the case.But I have realized one thing that life becomes more complicated as we move up the age ladder......back then it all seemed so very easy.School...studies...college...get employed....get married....retire from work...then die.The order is still the same but the flavor of the whole cycle isn't as simple as I thought it would be.My journey has been not quite easy and not quite difficult,but it has been simple.Yes a simple journey it has been.Nothing much significant has happened up until a few months ago when I started widening the walls of my world to unite with her world and make it ours.As I was saying it has been not quite smooth but it has been fun, so far it has been quite a fulfilling experience.Even with the tear drops here and there it has been happy.At the end of the day we have a good time.Not a conventional good time like the rest of the world but our good time which finds meaning only in our world.Yes we do have our little world.It didn't seem foreign ever, don't even remember how it got created....its been so naturally done. A little more than 3months left for my 20thbirthday.2 decades flew by just...1st year is well and truly over ..just a couple of weeks left....and just 2 more years left before I say sayonara to college life.Strange...very strange....time never slows down doesn't stop when I want to...it flows at its own pace. Yes there has been moments when I wanted time to freeze but it didn't, time didn't listen.I have learned how to suppress desires, sometimes I fail to but most of the times I think I manage decently to hide my inner tweets.But I have seen one thing no matter what happened , how much tougher it got, my hope never got suffocated.I always hoped for the best,sometimes I prepared for the worst and sometimes I didn't but hope didn't leave me ever.It stuck by me like a very few close friends,like a leach except this leach didn't suck the vitality away.I analyze things constantly which is a bad thing I have learned of late, sometimes you just got to give it a break from being all precise and meticulous about everything. Things grow at their own pace I have learned that too... one cannot just accelerate growth like that, if one does so, short term fruits might be harvested but things suffer in the long run. Its better to let something develop on its own,its better that way.The road hasn't been smooth,scarred here and there...aahhh...but that means there will be smoother road ahead...that means I will also be ready to face the next unfriendly circuit with more courage.Its still cloudy but that means it will rain soon and that means the sun will come out once again.Patience is the art of hoping-that's my orkut prediction.I agree with it.Its been really weird in a way.Here's hoping for much smoother and a stable life at least for the next couple of decades if not for much more.Hope, that is all I can do.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

If Ever

If ever the final bell rings
If ever time consumes this friendship
The world won't miss much
Just a couple of loafers stampeding Parkstreet
Won't be there
A few warm glances maybe..
The momo shops will still be wide open
The charred building will still remain
The orange street lights, they will glow
The metros will still be plying at the same time
Just a pair of bluetooth won't be connected...
Songs, strings of music will be frozen in time
Ice cream will still be melting at its natural speed
Just the roads will miss a few footsteps
Skin will still sweat, tears will be a little more salty
But memories will be sweet as always
Sweet enough to bring a smile just for a few seconds
If ever the knell is sound ....
If ever that is...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Treasure It Was

A treasure it was
The little world
You and I had
The our world
Where we sang the our song
Where we had the our lingo
The world I had to leave
Because there was no more space
The smiles , the tears
The laughter , the pain
Getting me high..the love that was insane
The drug that kept me alive
The drug that raped my belief
The drug that gave the same filth
Its gone now....only memories
Memories of the our song
Memories of the our rain
Memories of the our sun
And the shade....
Memories now both good and bad
But I cherish those cause I know I did because I had to
No hard feelings now...no bad blood....
I have found a new world
Its very different
Don't know what pain it will give me
Don't even want to know...
Cause I have grown strong
Thanks to the drug
Now I don't go wrong
An enigmatic life ahead.......


This was what I could make of everything that you told me my friend,may be its no where close to your interpretations to your experiences....but nonetheless an effort I have made .... don't know why....I mean I seriously don't know the reason behind this post....oh well its dedicated to you...may be this post here is trying to tell you... that the writer understands, the comprehends....emotions too expensive I know....but that is all the writer is trying to give I guess....I am not sympathizing....I won't say I feel sorry for you...for what you have gone through...I know it was harsh....but that is life... but...all I want to say... is that my hands are on your shoulder...I am there with you......

The Storm

The storm had its prey
Another bruised heart...
Emotions scattered like broken glass
It was enough for her
She couldn't bear it any longer
Tears came rolling down
But no one was there to help her
Time patched up the bruise
And she moved on with
Numbness in her heart!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Friend

I have found a home and it's really strong
I have found a friend who is never wrong
I have found a brand new world in those deep eyes
I have found a reason to start feeling bright
No matter how much pain the world gives
That touch makes them take a back seat
A friend in need is a friend indeed
I realized it once again last night
When everyone was just taking their leave
I am blessed to have a friend like you
My world has changed for the better all because of you
I have found a friend who is never wrong
I have found a friend at the end of it all......

}:-)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Heaven In Your Eyes

Loverboy a Candanian rock band and Heaven In Your Eyes.One of the better ballads I have heard.Simply love this song.The lyrics goes like this......

I can tell by the look in your eyes you've been hurtin'
You know I'll never let you down... oh no
And I'll try anything to keep it workin'
You gave me time to find out
What my heart was lookin' for
And what I'm feelin' inside

In your eyes
I want to see your love again
In your eyes
I never want this feeling to end
It took some time to find the light
But now I realize
I can see the heaven in your eyes

Can't you see I'm finding it hard to let go
Oooh at all the heartaches
We've been through
I never really thought I'd see this love grow
But you helped me see
Now I know what my heart's been lookin' for
And what I'm feeling inside

In your eyes
I want to see your love again
In your eyes
I never want this feeling to end
It took some time to find the light
But now I realize
I can see the heaven in your eyes

We've been livin' on the edge
Where only the strong survive
We've been livin' on the edge
And it's something that we just can't hide
Oh this feeling inside

In your eyes
I want to see your love again
In your eyes
I never want this feeling to end
It took some time to find the light
But now I realize
I can see the heaven in your eyes
Ooh yeah I can see the heaven in your eyes
Oh baby I can see the heaven in your eyes
Oooh yeah heaven in your eyes, heaven in your eyes
Oh heaven in your eyes, heaven in your eyes
I can see the heaven, heaven in your eyes, heaven in your eyes

Friday, March 26, 2010

Shit

"Get over me will you
Its been a long time
Your presence irritates me to the core
I am tired of putting up this friendly role
Just get out of my sight...will you?
Don't you see I am so uncomfortable around you!!
Your feelings are shit...
I never gave a damn about it
I feel sorry for you
Your hurting yourself you know
Can't you see things will never change...
Don't you know my decisions remain the same
Get over me... will you
I am tired of all this you know
Your feelings are shit you know
Your feelings are shit you know!"

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

It Was Me

Hey there...
Have you lost your way in this storm?
Have you taken a shelter that will save you from this disaster?
You shouldn't have left my castle..
You shouldn't have rebelled..
Now do you see that you are weak and feeble
Now do you see that you are incapable
I don't care anymore...let the storm devour you now
It was your mistake...
Your error has got you where you are
I was your master...I was your guiding spirit
You were the star because I wanted it to be...
Your foolish thoughts made you grow beyond your skin
Now do you see that you were nothing!!
It was me all this while
It was me.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Promise You That

I have been a huge Westlife fan since I was in class 7.The Irish boyband mesmerizes me with their melody and their lyrics.Although they perform many covers...still Westlife produces a sound soothing to the ears...the band's songs are a welcome break from the daily "Rock-a-thon". I suddenly came across this song titled "I Promise You That" after ages....one of my favorites of Westlife... the lyrics goes like this....


There's no reason you should feel like this
I know that I am the only one to blame
I feel your agony
its hidden in your kiss

I don't believe that things are said and done
I only hope there's still time to be the one
we can work it out
If only you let me, oh

whatever you say
whatever you do
there will be good times waiting for you
whatever you hear
I won't disappear
I promise you that
I promise you that

I never said that I could change the world
But if you give me the chance that I deserve
I know that in you heart
You can forgive me, oh

Whatever you say
Whatever you do
There will be good times waiting for you
whatever you hear
I won't disappear
I promise you that
I promise you that

We had times only a fool could miss
Still there is time to turn it around
Im not saying it's an easy thing
Let me show you
I promise you that
Oh, yeah

Whatever, wherever
There will be good times waiting for you
whatever you hear, I won't disappear

Whatever you say
Whatever you do
There will be good times waiting for you
Whatever you hear, I won't disappear
I promise you that
I promise you that.

whatever you hear
I won't disappear
I promise you that
I promise you that...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Cure

Tell me where it hurts
I will try and find a cure
Just let me see the wound
I will know if its profane or pure
I can hold you close
That is only if you want me to
I wont force you to breakaway
Don't worry..I won't, I won't
When the magic was right
I know you laughed
But when the wand is broken
Please don't fall apart
Tell me where it hurts
But I think I know
Give me a chance
I will try and find a cure.....

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Last Leaf


Turn the page
Look ahead
Leave the past behind
Its never too late
To dance again
To erase the fake smile
Nightmares are over
Honey and clover
Lets feel the new beat
Rains are gone
Feel funny and strong
A new ray of summer heat
Lets make love
Click new photographs and
Hope like the last leaf.

Monday, March 8, 2010

GREEN

Yo!!! I have turned GREEN! :D ..... wanted a makeover and hence I have turned green.... but this does not imply that I am environment friendly! :P stupid post I know..anyway got to leave..bye!Have a GREEN_DAY!!! ^_^

My Hobby








When I was a kid, may be 7 or 8 my hobby was Stamp Collecting,but as I grew I lost interest in it and when I was in my 4th grade my mother bought me a camera-Kodak Kb10 , the most simple and the most user friendly camera I have used so far.Since then I have been clicking pictures and taking pictures have become my hobby.These are a few of my recent lot and that is my "Barir Kali Pujo".More pictures to come...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

*TOUCHWOOD*

Honestly speaking I had thought I could go ahead in life...without caring...without giving a damn about the world....yes I could have been in love been close to some one...but even then...that someone's opinion would have been wrong full of flaws..cause I had seen it all..been there done it all....my interpretations were the best and the final...no one could go against it...or try to even point out a flaw...I thought I had seen it all...and my past experiences both good and bad...were the be all and the end all...to be a true blooded Man! that is what I believed up until yesterday night.... I was scared to accept the fact that I could be wrong at places...yes honestly speaking there is this little faint voice well not really faint inside me which says...Ur The Best-To Hell With The Rest....makes me complacent...and just at the moment a certain some one makes me realize... that I was wrong at places many a times...I had not seen it all...I was being heart less ....I was not understanding.....yes it hurt...it hurt big time..... to accept the fact...that I was wrong....to realize the fact that I did not succeed in doing everything.....I had become overconfident....and I guess I was taking things...friendships,relationships for granted......but yes I thank that certain some one...for making me realize a few finer things about life......When I woke up in the morning today...... I felt calm...relieved.....I had been very immatured ......I was not doing justice to my friends...the woman I am in love with.....even to my family....my claustrophobic ideas.....had expired....and I could not impose them like before....things should be better from now on...I seriously hope the impasse passes ASAP.....everything looked better surer safer today *touchwood* ...............................................just started walking....a looooooong loooooooooooooooooooong loooooooooooooooooooooooong.....way to go.....more than a million miles left to cover.....

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Not much I want You know...

Therez not much I want
Just a smile on your face
Therez not much I want
But to see you happy everyday
Therez not much I want
Just a glow on your face
Therez not much I want
But to hold you close one day
Therez not much I want
Just a bright hello
Therez not much I want
But to listen to your silent cello
Therez not much I want
You know...
Therez not much I want
You know...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

???

You have won
I have lost the ground
You have murdered me
At the speed of sound
Will it make any difference
To the rest of the world?
My presence was insignificant
You know that - Mr.Strong.
Why did you kill me?
Why did you hurt?
What pleasure did you gain
To see my body ripped apart???
I was not your enemy
You know that too
I was an innocent little child
Who didn't know how to shoot!!!


Sunday, February 7, 2010

2010 Number 1

So this will be my very first post of 2010! Didn't write for a while...didn't feel like writing...loadz of interesting events took place..within these first 5weeks of the brand new year.....many confusions were cleared out...I knew they would be cleared in the end...like a friend said....everything gets ironed in the end....experienced Xavotsav, yes it was my first xavotsav...it was fun being a volunteer.Met an interesting kid...whom I did not "disappoint" as a "guy"(wow such an innocent comment can have such amorous hidden meaning).....had great adda sessions, ate a lot :D...enjoyed in a different way...yes "chatofying" oin gives a different kind of satisfaction...and I experienced this kind of satisfaction almost regularly during the first 5weeks of the 2010! Dont know why I mentioned the last piece of information...neway...Oin should be glad...that I have mentioned her for the first time in this prestigious space on the internet!Life is stable now...the road is smooth...at least it looks smooth to me...and then again...a certain some one has made it smooth to be honest!! Ya it has not been a very bright start in terms of blogging...but hopefully I will be able to post better in the future... those who have read..thanx for reading! :)