Thursday, December 10, 2009

Gift And Not Accident

Its very weird , I mean life.Back in 8th grade if I am not mistaken one class mate of mine had etched "Life Is An Accident" on his desk,well that time it didn't make much of an impact on me,it doesn't even today but some how now I feel this "Accident" is worth it.Like when there is a real accident on the road people gather,strangers pop out from nowhere, some help,some just do the talking and some just stare and enjoy the party.....Well I wouldn't use the "ACCIDENT" label rather I would call it a "GIFT"....Yes a gift from God....that is what I would like to believe :) I am listening to this song called "Give Me Some Sunshine" from the movie 3 IDIOTS since morning,the lyrics clearly reflect the desire of a teenager , the desire to attain LIFE to live LIFE and not under piles of books. Yes I can say I am very lucky that way, I have enjoyed my days at school without any kind of worries or under any kind of pressure.But I have experienced a lot of emotions during my school life, smiles,tears,heart breaks, hormonal rush and I can confidently say that all these varied experiences have moulded me into various shapes, have made me strong.Yes I thank them now.

2009.This has been the most eventful year of my life so far.The initial part of the year had been very mixed apart from doing decently in academics everything else was not in tune,I was broken.Yes I thought I had bumped onto a DEAD END.I thought it was over,I had lost,lost to my own self , I was decaying emotionally , yes I was obsessed , I thought I had to prove.But on my birthday I realized that you don't need to prove any one anything and yes somethings are just not meant to happen, no matter how much you crave for them,no matter how much you want it.Even if you have all the riches ,still it doesn't happen.But yes my wound has healed, I have come out more strong.College, yes its brilliant nowadays but I wouldn't say it started off very brightly , yes it was something new, I was looking forward to it everyday but I was not completely happy.Yes I have made some very nice friends out there but some how I just could not feel very elated that time. Yes things changed and I believe for the better and it was my birthday 13th August 2009 that capped off an epoch which leaned more towards the sadder part of my life, but yes I must thank my birthday also because I believe it showed a brand new path, a road which led to some one new, some one who is just like me. I could not believe at the first go!!! Was it possible to find some one exactly like your own self...I kept on thinking, questioning everything , trying to deny something which was not deniable.I could not accept the fact that it was happening to me all over again...the same old story was being read, but with a new vigour , a new spirit had entered my body , I was happy ,I was enjoying.

Feeling a bit low since morning, called up my best buddy needed a few answers. Yes has been the one who has guided me , helped me, yes he is one of the few people who I can blindly trust.After speaking to him I turned on my PC .... I still had not got all of my answers.Yes the pictures, they were my answers.As I kept scrolling down one particular album, I felt happy, I smiled.Yes I had got my answers There was another album right next to the one I was seeing , but I didn't bother opening it, those pictures didn't belong here anymore, it didn't fit the frame,so I deleted them, it lifted the weight was carrying.Of late I have been asking my self a few questions, like "What would it have been like if this person wasn't there with me?" ; "Would college would have been the way it is these days if this person was not there??" ; "Would I have been so confident like I am today???" ( yes I am confident these days, I wasn't a confident person before) ; " What would it be like if the aimless walks , the hot momos , the extra-jhal phuchkas were not there????" The answer that strikes me every time is that I would not have experienced life in the way LIFE should be experienced,the dormant part of me has woken up ,it wakes up each and every day..........Yes this person has become a part of me, a part which I will carry with me my entire life.

Now how can I brand life to be an accident? I would rather consider life to be a gift. :) When a "60 tonne angel falls to the earth" it can't be called an accident, even though the damage it causes.But yes this is a very different kind of damage, it heals .... it doesn't wound , it pains sometimes but yes there is always the silver lining-the contagious smile.

P.S. I love you.

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